When the love fades, and when they face the reality – many couples give up a fight for their love and marriage. According to experts – changes in culture and system values are the main reasons why people more often give up on marriage. What do we do when love comes to an end and divorce becomes inevitable? Can disagreements between future-ex-spouses be resolved in a civilized manner? It’s possible! This is exactly what post-separation mediation helps us with. We will point out some of the benefits of this way of resolving marital disputes.
Better A Good Divorce Than A Bad Marriage
Today, many couples, especially young ones find it difficult to cope with their roles. Why is this happening? There are many reasons, but unlike some previous times – today there are no clear rules on how marriage should work. Therefore, in a way, the roles of spouses are not clearly defined either. Regardless of all the problems – the advice is to think carefully before initiating divorce proceedings. You can always get a divorce. Saving a marriage and living in it harmoniously is a much bigger skill – and also a happier solution. Of course, if such a solution is possible. If there is no way to live harmoniously, and you have still decided to end your marriage – here is what the divorce procedure usually looks like in practice.
Two Faces Of Divorce
There are two ways to get through the separation process. The first way is a consensual divorce, for which you and your partner need to agree on major issues that you consider relevant. These include the trust of the child, the division of property, the amount of child support, and the manner of maintaining the child’s relationship with the other parent, etc. Another way is a divorce by a lawsuit if you cannot agree on the divorce or the most important issues related to the divorce.
What Is A Consensual Divorce?
A consensual divorce is the one based on the consent of both parties, that is you and your spouse. You are both entitled to that right if you enter into a written agreement for divorce. Also, you should submit a written agreement on the exercise of parental rights and also on the questions of dividing joint property with the proposal for a consensual divorce. In a written agreement on the exercise of parental rights, you and your partner can agree to exercise parental rights together – or only one parent will receive parental rights. If you decide that only one parent gets parental rights, then the agreement must include an agreement on entrusting the joint child to one parent, but also an agreement on the monthly amount for child support that will be paid by the other parent and also agreement on maintaining the child’s relationship with the other parent.
What Is A Divorce Lawsuit?
A lawsuit for divorce can be filed by both spouses. That usually happens if the marital relationship is seriously and permanently disrupted or if the life between spouses cannot be objectively realized. Then it is considering filing a lawsuit. As part of the divorce proceedings – a mediation procedure is also provided for you to reconcile or reach an agreement on the most important issues.
Use Of The Mediation Process
The mediation procedure is an integral part of a marital dispute. It is initiated by a lawsuit of one of the spouses. Mediation consists of two phases and includes a procedure to attempt at reconciliation and a procedure for an attempt to settle the dispute amicably – that is, a settlement. This means that you and your partner can only agree to a settlement. The mediation will not be conducted unless you or your spouse do not agree to it, or if either of you is incapable of reasoning. It also won’t be conducted if the residence of one of the spouses is unknown – or if any of the spouses live abroad.
Benefits Of Post-Separation Mediation
In the post-separation phase, mediation aims to alleviate the traumas of the emotionally exhausting process and stabilize the family system in separated conditions. According to O’Sullivan Mediation, spouses are allowed to reconsider the decision on divorce. They have the opportunity to overcome their problems with professional help. Spouses can overcome the difficulties that have led to disturbances in the relationship – as well as in achieving agreed parenting. If in the mediation process the spouses do not reconcile and remain with the decision on divorce – the mediator during mediation focuses on alleviating the phase of emotional divorce, on parental strengths and developmental needs of children. At this stage, mediation has the task of rehabilitating the family system, minimizing negative psychosocial consequences, and conflict of loyalty in children.
These are some of the other benefits of mediation in the post-separation process.
- Decisions are made independently by those who will live following the reached agreement.
- Independent decision-making that takes the needs of all family members increases the likelihood of reaching a fair agreement.
- It enables the continuity of family ties between children and parents after a conflict or a divorce.
- It helps in developing parental cooperation based on the common interest for the welfare of children.
- Mediation respects the family’s past – but does not deepen the problem by looking for the causes of past conflicts.
- Mediation is focused on the current problem and on a solution that will be sustainable in the future.
- Mediation encourages shared responsibility for the quality of life of family members.
- The dispute can be resolved quickly by mediation – and therefore, it will reduce the cost of resolving it.
- If a partial agreement is reached or no agreement is reached at all – mediation helps the spouses to see the situation more clearly. It also contributes to their better mutual understanding and communication – and more effective participation in further dispute resolution in court.
Significance Of Mediation
The mediator directs the partners to jointly consider all the consequences of divorce. In this way, it helps partners to manage their personal and property relations with as much understanding and responsibility as possible. Also, the mediator directs the partners to think and agree on how they will take care of their children after the divorce. This applies in particular to parental responsibilities and rights towards children. All this contributes to the fact that the partners do not part hostilely and opens the possibility for parental cooperation that puts the child in the first place. If there is a willingness of partners to cooperate in all matters that are important to their children, there will be less need for intervention by the court and other institutions involved in this process.
